…to be inspired

When is the last time you were accidentally inspired? When’s the last time you’ve been reminded that your life’s purpose is greater than what you are currently engaged in or committed to?

My most recent moment was last week a college acquaintance was in town celebrating his birthday. I had been following him for a lil while and although I’m not on IG as much as I once was I happened to be on there at the perfect time to see his most recent post. That post led me to lurking and I discovered he was in Houston…we exchanged a few messages and decided to link up while he was in town.

Instant inspiration when I saw him on the corner with his camera looking like a tourist lol(he’s a photographer). I want to be courageous enough to travel alone. I want to be faithful enough to enjoy my own company for hours at a time while exploring a place outside of my comfort zone…and most importantly I want to be cool enough to know that wherever I go IF I want company someone will want to kick it with me.

The next inspiring moment happened while we were driving around in China Town looking for photo-ops. We were discussing his full time profession and he just so happened to be an educator as well. As I was complaining about the mountains of papers I have to grade he started explaining how he doesn’t grade papers. He has implemented an honor system in his class which allows them too grade each others papers and he can just simply put grades in, Duhhhh Jena’! lol I’m so busy trying to be a REAL TEACHER! A teacher that wears vests and holiday earrings to match lol, a teacher that has no life because she just drinks and grades papers all day and night, a teacher that is not relatable and is considered to be the anti-litist! That’s not who I am, I’m the teacher that plays the radio in class or allows my students to  listen to their own music because I know it helps them concentrate. I’m the teacher that dabs with my students when they do something great. I’m the teacher that freestyles to my students beating on the desk BEFORE I tell them to stop. According to my experiences and outdated expectations, I’m not a REAL teacher actually according to a REAL teacher I’m a student (lol) and that’s perfectly fine with me. I am allowed to create my own style of teaching as long as I am being effective, respectful, and appropriate.

The most inspiring moment came from another discussion we had in a abandoned lot watching birds and cars go by! He mentioned his intent to break free from his 9-5 shackles and pursue his passion of photography by traveling around the world taking dope ass pictures. Boy does that sound fun! lol I want to traveling around the world meeting people and learning about their cultures without fear. Without worrying about my bills or moments I’m missing out on with my family or how I’m going to get medical care without health insurance. I desperately want to be freeeeee from my fears!  I desperately want to give up control of my life, well-being and future.

Lastly, after I dropped him off to his next destination I reflected on our adventure and felt inspired to experience more adventures as often as possible. I typically wait until I have family or friends in town to explore new scenes because they offer absolute comfort in potentially uncomfortable situations. If I do decide to go explore in Houston I go shopping because I’m often very comfortable spending my money as well. I want to be comfortable walking around downtown alone and wandering into a park people watching without feeling vunerable or judged. I want to feel comfortable leaving my phone somewhere and not feel the need to passive aggressively snap or capture myself in the moment just to let someone know where I was and what I had on just in case I get TAKEN.

A week and one day later I’m still reflecting on the 6 hours of inspiration and still feel just as amped and motivated as I did that day to start living my best life again and doing what makes me happy. Salsa, guitar, and pottery classes are on my list of things to do in addition to my morning walks before work. I am also going to get back to my “tomorrow isn’t promised” way of living and stop putting thing off till the weekend. I prayed, fasted, put myself further in debt and sacrificed to be in this place in my life and I am going to take full advantage of the opportunities placed before me. I am going to live my life in such a way that I can inspire others too…THANKS KING! my crown has been adjusted…this Queen is back!

-J

Update: Last night prior to posting this I had a conversation with him and it kinda made me second guess publishing this post. He was expressing to me how he feels overdue for his next big break and how he feels as if he has sewn enough seeds and is ready to start reaping and here I am just another person that has benefitted from his energy… however I decided to post this in hopes that he will find comfort in knowing his energy is spreading like dandelions and adding increase to the lives of those around him. So don’t get weary, manifest ur next break, clear the clutter so u can receive it with all of u when it comes!