It’s raining men…Pt.1

In the past few months “Its raining men” has been my motto and theme song, I apparently fleek in the fall. Or is it that’s we are in the pre-season of the cuffing season and I’m the 52nd draft pick? Either way the men are coming and in droves might I add. I’ve met men on IG, at clubs, bars, grocery stores, one guy stopped me at my car while leaving a date with another guy ( he should’ve walked me to my car lol) and lastly at random bars or nights out. I have arrrriveddd hunty and now I get the pleasure of sifting thru these fools. Yay!!! (Rolls eyes)

There’s the account rep… he’s the nice guy. He’s 32 no kids, soft spoken and totally out of his league. When I first met him he was at the bar with his sunglasses on… awwww poor guy. He grabbed me as my friend and I were walking by so I said “oh heyyyyy   Fabo” 😂😂😂  he asked why I called him that and I said its cause he’s the only grown ass man allowed to wear sunglasses inside at night. I then proceeded to tell him that he needs to take his glasses off before he asks for my number because if he is crossed eye I need to know now. He did lol  now let’s fast forward up to our first date, he was super polite and accomdating. The only thing I have to complain about is the fact that he asked me why guys in my past cheated on me then proceeded to tell me that I MUST have done something for them to cheat on me. lol WTF that’s not on me! That’s not my fault these guys were weak and had undeniable temptations, or I was easy to cheat on, or realistically because they were young and so was I. JERK! Who ask those kinds of questions? Well ok, after I got over my initial shock and irritation I realized that he thought I was really freaking awesome (he thought right) and he couldn’t fathom why any person would hurt, betray, or mistreat me.

Well at least that’s what I thought, I’ve recently decided that he asked me those questions because he’s really crazy. I didn’t think he was crazy right away but after a series of text messages and apparently phone calls he made that I never got I figured it out. He seemed to be nice and chill but then he started to rub me the wrong way, and I’ll probably be blocking him shortly (he’s already blocked from my social media) . I typically like to know what crazy people are up to and thinking so I can know what moves they are making…they typically announce their crazy. Sometimes its a “I can’t get you off my mind text” and other times its a video of them standing outside your car or house, either way I need to get the correspondence lol. So, yeah I wont be blocking him right now AND I’ve sent my cousin his picture, his number, and the place I met him…rather safe than sorry!


…Stay Tuned for the next installment next week Monday… Man Crush (or crazy) Monday!

-J

…Ham, Ram, Turkey, Chicken, Turkey, Chicken

Two years ago I embarked on a journey to rid myself of animal flesh. I wanted to get rid of the extra toxins, hormones and chemical exposure in my body. Today I’m 5’3 and almost 200 lbs…. I got some splainin to do! 


I started off by giving up land animals in order of least important to my palette to most important… January I gave up pork, the only thing I missed was bacon and only on cheeseburgers and baby back ribs. February was beef, I was only going to miss burgers from this small restaurant chain that my family goes to called Roy’s Squeeze Inn and spaghetti. March and April was put aside for poultry, I gave myself more time because I knew that I was gonna need more time to kick the ghetto bird. The plan was to be done with all land animals by my 25th bday, however I didn’t consider that I would be in Jamaica and I wasn’t leaving until I had some authentic Jerk Chicken so my plan had to be extended until June. Giving up chicken and poultry was harder than I originally thought.I was living a pestcstarian lifestyle which still allowed for seafood. I gained 20lbs that year and I blame some of it on the fact that I like the worst kind of seafood (bottom feeders) and I like it fried. The following January I gave up seafood too and started living as a vegetarian. It was a smooth transition now because the thought of seafood started to make me sick to my stomach just like land animals did before I gave it up.

I often found myself limited to salads when going out and starches which was boring and fattening so I typically opted for other options and sometimes those options would come in the form of meats I used to eat. I realized that I had to eat most of my meals at home, social eating would be counter-productive.So I fought the urges and pressed on all the while continuously gaining weight. I must be doing this vegetarian thing alllll wrong. So I explored other possibilities, thyroid problems, digestive issues, lack of sex, depression, years of birth control use. I started making doctors appointments and eliminating options off my list. One thing I didn’t consider which happened to be the culprit was PCOS.  No telling how long I had been suffering from this but I can say I’ve shown the symptoms and signs of it for years prior to the weight gain. So ok, I kno the problem working to fix that and boom 7 months later I’m down 10lbs without working out… walking more often,  eating better, and more water intake.

Life was great until I moved to Houston and saw Raising Canes again lol…. long story short I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. I’ve totally relapsed! I’m still not cooking meat but I’m definitely eating it again and Im eagerly waiting to be strong enough to give it up soon. I’m just chicken and seafood again but that’s my kryptonite so it’s more than a notion. Everyone has this idea in there heads about what a vegetarian looks like to them. and it’s false until you are far enough in your journey it looks like me, a struggling addict. 

With my recent setbacks and the temptations of holiday soul food swiftly approaching I don’t see myself being successful in going cold turkey again (I like my turkey hot, and fried in peanut oil) within the next few weeks. So I’m indulging and enjoying until after Christmas and I get back on track with my life. I’m not going portion crazy and I’m still drinking more water and walking so I haven’t gained any weight back (PRAISE GOD).

Gaining weight over the holidays is definitely a thing… some ppl even lose weight in anticipation to gain it right back in these two months however some of us can’t afford 1/2 pound more lol so here’s my little guide to avoiding unnecessary holiday weight gain.

1) PORTION CONTROL– if you want to taste EVERYTHING on the table you can… just make sure u just get a tasting sized amount which is a few spoonfulls if not just one.

2) EAT YOUR FAVORITE FOODS FIRST-my weakness is my Grandma Queen’s dressing (or stuffing for my lighter toned Queens)  it’s bomb.com and it’s the first thing I go for, next is greens and then Mac and Cheese I add a little bit of yams and go about my business. I typically take dessert to go.

3) GIVE IN TO YOUR CRAVINGS (((SOMETIMES)))-I’ve found that if I’m craving something and I try to compensate with an alternative, I eat a lot more of the bad stuff trying to get that monkey off my back. Don’t let inner you encourage u too much, but everyonce in a while.


4) DON’T EAT AT EVERY HOUSE-just because you go by to share some love on the holidays doesn’t mean that you have to share the extra weight, high blood pressure, and diabetes… JUST SAY NO! Ur bffs granny will forgive u


5) TAKE FOOD HOME OR THROW IT AWAY-if you find urself in a situation where u can’t finish your food or your getting full, just stop and find some foil. If you can’t then throw it out (turn the plate upside down and push it down😂) but by no means are u to treat ur body like a garbage disposal.

Holidays are about lies dressed up with as love, family, and food ( that’s another topic for another day) …nevertheless ENJOY IT but don’t get crazy!!!

-J

Special Occasions 

Growing up my grandma had a room that was dedicated to special occasions. She also had special occasion dinnerware, silverware, and decorations. In my head, which is where most of my thoughts stayed growing up, having special occasion stuff was stupid. Why spend money on things your only going to use once a year IF you were lucky enough to host a special occasion every year. 

It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that I saw something that said make everyday a special occasion, everyday that your alive and breathing , every moment that you have to spend with your loved ones laughing and sharing space should be treated like a special occasion. What a shame to leave this earth with one special occasion a year, what a shame to make your friends and family feel like that are only special when the occasion saw fit. That was validation and a green light for me to create my own tradition of special occasions. 

After that message, I changed the way I thought about things. I viewed EVERYDAY as a special occasion for me. If I wanted to go get cocktails I would go, if I wanted to buy a new dress I would shop, if I wanted to have a fancy meal… I would tell my mom! Lol (back then I only had two great dishes lol) now at the end of my twenties my special occasions look a little different. Now I carve out time to sleep in and take naps, I light all the candles in my house and turn the lights off. At least twice a month I journal at the new and full Moon about whatever I want and manifest my dreams and purge my fears. Right now I’m currently in my tub soaking in epson salt, rose petals (I dried myself) and lemongrass bubble bath with my candles lit and no shower cap on! No shower cap is SERIOUS BUSINESS!!! Lol this is a special occasion for me. I am alone, comfortable and appreciative of this moment in this space. It’s not often I get to do nothing but be… even though I live alone and single as as shit! I don’t always have moments to just be, there’s always something to do, someone needing my energy, something needing my attention or some sort of distraction. 

I look forward to the day when my special occasions include or involve my significant other and possibly our children and family. But until then I’m basking in the ambience of just being with me being special by my damn self. 

-J